Outing the Gays

I’m sitting in my living room drinking and eating with some of my closest friends and the topic of sexuality (inevitably) comes up. One of my friends starts to discuss a boy she has recently made out with although she believes he is gay. She goes on to tell us that even though he is “so obviously gay” he instead describes himself as “the most fashionable straight guy you’ll ever meet”. Of course, from there everyone else starts throwing out names of boys they have the same “issue” with. Quickly, the conversation has gone from boys we’ve made out with to boys who just will not “admit” they are gay. If these girls are so sure that these boys are gay then why do they need the boys to clarify it? Better yet, why do they even care? Suddenly it dawns on me: we are afraid of what we do not understand, and in this society, we do not understand people without labels.

From day one we are taught to believe people are sorted into categories: boy-girl; white-black; lefty-righty. Everywhere we look we are categorized and put into a group based on some trait that is supposed to define us and sexuality is one of the most prominent ways we do this. Like with all other categories, however, when someone defies or ignores the group other people have chosen for him the public becomes dismantled. For this reason, when our friend who has very effeminate mannerisms and everyone believes he is gay says he is heterosexual all of a sudden his sexuality becomes everyone’s business and everyone’s problem. In my opinion, the bigger problem is that it matters to anyone but the individual in question.

As the conversation continues all the girls declare (because God forbid someone accidentally gets labeled homophobic) that they don’t care if the boy is gay and they would like him so much more if he would just come out and tell the world he is. Which is where today’s society inevitably lies: a society that would like to be deemed accepting yet only accepts when everyone follows the rules and clearly labels themselves for the benefit of others.

 

Explore posts in the same categories: Gender, Sexual Orientiation, Sexuality

Tags: gay, heternormative sexuality, homosexuality, the closet

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