Biology and Sexuality

I was having a discussion with some of my friends the other day, both guys and girls were present, and we got onto the subject of older women and older men.  The guys were saying that it’s a lot easier for a younger woman to be attracted to an older guy becuase, biologically, the older man is still able to procreate.  However, once women reach a certain age, they are unable to have children, and therefore younger men are not biologically programmed to be interested in older women.  Honestly,  I had never really considered the issue before, but the boys were making an intersting point.  After a little more discussion they also described that they thought the entire reason that men are attracted to women with curvy figures and women are attracted to men who have large, masculine features is simply biological.  Furthermore, they reduced sexual attraction, in general, to biology.  While this is not a completely unheard of perspective, it seems hard to actually believe.

Why is it that there are so many people who are not attracted to sex with will lead to procreation. 

Tiger Woods

The Tiger Woods scandal recently publicized everywhere by the media has a lot of sexuality theory embedded into it. Let’s list some theories and then delve further into the story: Sex negativity, fallacy of misplaced scale, domino theory of sexual peril, hierarchical system, and black sexual politics. There are so many more.

First, the fallacy of the misplaced scale puts so much emphasis on Tiger’s celebrity status, his relationship with his wife, details of his personal life and now his sex life. Celebrities automatically get more attention than everyday people. We talked about the Cornell scandal in class, but that wasn’t blasted by the media in the way that this story has been. And arguably, there are more and juicier details there, if that’s what the public is looking for. Relationships get more attention because they are a social construct on which we put so much emphasis in order to keep our culture and being perpetuating over time. Stories about relationships get more attention than those about a single person. First story about a single person that comes to mind is James Fry and his lies in his book A Million Little Pieces. His story was big, but not as big as this story about Tiger (or Demi and Ashton, Nicole/Tom/Katie, JLo and Marc Anthony, Beyoncé/Rihanna and Jay-Z, Rihanna and Chris Brown, Reese and Jake, Brad and Angelina, Ellen and Portia, Oprah/Gayle/Stedman, etc.). I guess a person about a single story gets big if you lie to Oprah.

Because of some people in society’s concept of sex negativity—that sex is bad—the domino theory of sexual peril—that once you do one bad thing, what’s next—kicks in. In this case, Tiger did a “bad” thing. But he’s a spokesperson! We’ll skip the part about why spokespeople necessarily mean “role model.” Since he’s a role model but he did a “bad” thing, then kids who look up to him will think it’s okay, the theory would continue. Since affairs are okay, what else is okay? Marriage won’t have meaning. Sex will be rampant and society as we know it will fall to pieces!

What hasn’t been talked about much is that Tiger is mixed (or seen as black) and his wife and the “other woman” are both white women with blonde hair. It seems to me that this scandal is getting so much attention because of the level of discomfort many people have, due to our cultural history of slavery and oppression, with black men and white women having sexual relationships. This goes against what the dominant white male slaveowner would have wanted—to have his property (his white wife) be “defiled” and impregnated by his property (his black male slave). This loss of control demonstrates a change in society with which many people are uncomfortable. If Obama had a white wife, would he even be considered as a candidate? I’m not sure he would have. So, this media attention to Tiger’s “missteps” has demonstrated public sensitivity to interracial relationships. Unlike Vitter, Letterman and the rest who have been in the spotlight this year for infidelity, Tiger’s case is different. Tiger, and all people in obviously interracial relationships, are being publicly admonished for this coupling through all the negative media attention. Media is saying—see, this is what happens when you intermix, the relationship falls apart. Learn your lesson children!

How to be a Crimial– Sexual Discourses in Cop Drama

Ridiculous cop drama is one of my favorite things in the world– who doesn’t love to take a break with an hour long episode of a perfectly diverse group of good looking men and women running around catching murderers, serial killers, arsonists, and even the ocassional sex offender.  Sometimes they even shoot someone or become victims themselves.  Honestly, before I took this class I thought cop drama was pretty much the most amazing kind of television in the world–what’s not to like?  It’s only within the past few months, as I’ve been doing my reading for Mimi’s class and capping off my night with a Criminal Minds marathon that I’ve noticed some really intersting things about the way sexuality is approached.

This semester we’ve discussed a lot of forms of sexuality that are excluded from the charmed circle in one way or another.  The two most basic ways that ‘alternate’ sexualities– ones that don’t fit into the charmed circle– are excluded is through social exclusion and legal exclusion.  While, in several instances these go hand in hand, i.e. there are laws against certain sexual acts because the majority of people have decided it’s necessary to exclude them, this is not always true.  In cop drama, however, an intersting tie is made between these two forms of exclusion.  Because the characters of these television shows are supposed to be the ones upholding these laws, its intersting to recieve their perspective on the “criminals” that it is their job to arrest.

Simply put, the most interesting thing to me is the flat out lack of inquiry when it comes to crimes of a sexual nature. It’s likely that murder would have far less objections to being a criminal offense than prostitution, per say, but the alarming aspect of these cop dramas is that… this doesn’t seem to be the case.  In fact, the officers and agents discuss crimes of a sexual nature, whether it be child pornography to rape to murder to drug use to prostitution all in almost the exact same manner– with disgust.   It’s clear that none of the characters, or on a deeper level, the writers and producers of the show, have any doubt that prostitution or incest are just as unacceptable, on a social level, not simply a legal one, as rape or murder.  The disdain with which they treat the individuals who are “guilty” of these crimes suggests that they have been socialized to beleive “crimes” of a sexual nature– practicing a sexuality differnt from what is accepted by the charmed circle– are morally reprehensible.

In addition to this, monogamy is another serious issue which seems to be perpetuated by the content and dialogue of cop drama.  On could perhaps say this about almost all television shows which subscribe to mainstream norms, but for cop drama this portrayal  excessive.  In Criminal Minds, my personal favorite cop drama, they way they go about catching criminals is not by looking at DNA or physical evidence, but by performing a psychological and sociological analysis of the crimes and the criminals.  Part of this often requires researching parties involved with the crimes.  It seems that in the process of doing this, someone surfaces with an extra-marital affair, an alternative sexual preference, or some kind of behavior that separates them from the charmed circle and that automatically makes them a suspect.  What’s more is that, since it’s up to a writer to determine who the actual criminal is, the person who they become suspicious of due to these factors is usually the real criminal.  This leads viewers to believe that these trends are real– that alternate sexualities, being non-monogamous, etc. lead to being a dangerous predator who commits murder or rape.

Furthermore, and this is something that has only occurred to me sincedoing the readings for our last class, the image of children as being innocent is a prevailing ideal of the cop drama genre.  In fact, emphasis is placed specifically as victims against “innocent” children as being the most brutal and base of all crimes.  While this characterization is not always in relation to sexuality, the general characterization of children as being so innocent of “Adult” matter and cooncepts and ideas seems to follow from the assumption that they are unable to handle responsibility.  This is simply another way in which television series of this nature represent and perpetuate the dominance of the charmed circle.

The Video Vigilante

This morning I woke up to do some homework, turned on the television, started flipping and eventuall settled in on the Maury Show– the title of today’s show is “Busted…Married Men Paying For Sex!”  If any of you are familiar with the way the show works, the title of the show usually only has implications for what one segment of the show is about.  In today’s case, the title happened to relate to a man, apparently one who has been a regular guest on the Maury Show, who, as a hobby, follows men in his neighborhood around with a video camera in an attempt to capture them on film picking up prostitutes.  The nickname he gives himself, “The Video Vigilante,”  suggests that he thinks of his role in this scheme as ridding the streets of a crime which he deems unacceptable.

In accordance with these beliefs, the man goes about attempting to characterize the people that he catches in the act using outlandish stereotypes.  Here’s his website:

http://johntv.com/

Combing the streets of Oklahoma City with his video camera, searching parks, streets, following men around from their homes, and women who hang around in parks, the Vigilante not only captures his “perpetrators” on film, he also attempts to approach them and have conversations with them.  His idea of a conversation is accosting them for what they are doing, asking the “john” where their family is, and trying to get a shot of their wedding rings on camera.  On his website, along with the videos that he posts, the Vigilante attempts to give characterizations of both the john and the prostitute.  Often using characterizations of the prostitutes as being, “Dirty” “without dignity” “lewd” and “disgusting” and referring to them as “whores.”  Furthermore, the johns are usually only accosted, both in the Vigilante’s posts as well as in the videos as simply being married and disgusting.  Furthermore, he often tries to make note of the surroundings and where the people are engaging in these behaviors.  Often he cites things like, “Notice the children walking by her,” or, “as she walks by this young, innocent man, he looks up at her.  Obviously it’s because he knows she’s a hooker–”  even though she’s fully covered by her clothing.

It seems as though its people like this man, the Vigilante, who give caricatured accounts of prostitutes are the ones who do them the most injustice.  he attempts to give histories of these women as drug users and runaways, but yet doesn’t pity them or try to help them, he is more interested in getting them arrested…

In the readings by Chapkis, we discussed how sex workers often do the jobs they do by choice.  However, it strikes me, both on account of the Vigilante, as well as through other media portrayals that that cannot be true across the board– there have to be at least a number of prostitutes who are forced into their work, in other ways than human trafficking schemes.  However, even in these instances, what is it that makes prostitution being illegal a necessity to keep people safe?  It seems to me now, especially in the light of this Vigilante and his characterizations of these sad women, that bringing prostitution out into the light might not affect how accepted the act is by guys like this, but at least it would be keeping these women safe and giving them more respect that guys like this are…

It’s About Protecting Our Children

The past few months have been rather suspenseful for us liberals up in Washington State. It started with a “Decline to Sign” a petition for Referendum 71 campaign, which failed. Thus, Referendum 71 went on the ballot, threatening to repeal the Domestic Partnership Expansion Law of 2009, which was passed earlier in the year. The referendum was approved and the Domestic Partnership Expansion Law of 2009 remains in place, allowing registered domestic partners some (not all) of the rights married couples are allowed in Washington State. Though it was a victory (53% yes v. 47% no), it illustrated that the attitudes Gayle Rubin discusses in her essay “Thinking Sex” are much more prominent in Washington State than I would like to admit about my state. 

Valentine Reservation for Three

This past week – yes, the week we are reading about queer, open and poly-relationships – I made a phone call to a hotel chain to try to secure reservations for Valentine’s Day weekend.  My parents and I are taking a trip for a large city-wide event in another state that week, and I thought it best to book a room early in my dad’s favorite hotel before they were all taken.  Realize as I tell this story that I was completely oblivious to what was going on in my conversation with the hotel representative until I’d already hung up the phone.  The fact that the event is on Valentine’s Day is completely coincidental; our participation/trip has nothing to do with that holiday.  However, that is how I remember exactly when it is.  I didn’t have my calendar in front of me at the time I was calling, so I said specifically that I needed to make reservations for Valentine’s weekend, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. Then I was asked for how many adults.  Three.  “Three adults?” “Yes.” “Does that include a child?” “No, three adults.” (Again, I’m completely unaware of what’s going on.) However, to make sure we get just the right room, I try to verify that my mom and dad will have a king size bed for themselves and that we are in a suite with a fold-out couch in the other room.  Simply to verify the room bed/room arrangement I say I need to make sure my parents have a king size bed and there’s a sleeper sofa for me.  “OOOH!  Whew!  I’m glad to know the other two people are your parents!” At this point I’m fumbling in my wallet for my credit card, and I completely miss what had just happened.  Because my reasons were what they were, I had unknowingly stressed “Valentine’s Day” and “king size bed” and “three adults” while paying no attention to the connections the hotel worker was making.  

It’s wrong to kiss and tell…or is it?

Good girls and boys don’t kiss and tell, right?  Well apparently there are a lot of people who don’t follow this rule.  IJustMadeLove.com is a website where people can use Google Maps to point out where in the world they just had sex.  Additionally, they can tell what orientation the sex was (straight, gay, or lesbian), say whether the sex occurred indoors or outdoors, what positions were used, and give comments about how it was.  When I first saw this, the first thing that I thought was- “Wow, this is so not inside the charmed circle.”

No Cross-Dressers at College

Morehouse College, a Historically Black College/University that graduated Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Spike Lee,  recently imposed a ban on “the wearing of women’s clothes, makeup, high heels, and purses” by males attending the university, CNN reports. The regulations against cross-dressing are designed to stop men from dressing in what the university calls, “inappropriate attire.” These restrictions join other banned types of clothing in the university’s “Appropriate Attire Policy,” including wearing pajamas in public, sunglasses in class, and sagging pants. In CNN’s article, the Morehouse Vice President for Student Services claims that the policy is targeted to five specific students, “who are living a gay lifestyle that is leading them to dress a way we do not expect in Morehouse men.” You can read CNN’s report by visiting the link here:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/10/17/college.dress.code/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

It is evident from the amended polity that Morehouse’s administration is attempting to create a discourse on acceptable and unacceptable forms of sexual display by gays on their campus.

25 and No Baby?!

At work the other day, I was engaging in a conversation with a co-worker about our relationships, and I was talking about the guy I am dating. She asked his age and how many children he had. I respond that he was 25 and does not have any kids. She was surprised he had made it to 25 with no children. I was puzzled and asked about why she was